2018.04.30. 10:18, zoejones
Near the end of the dinner Thor started to tell a story that made his parents and those who were sitting close to him, laugh. Loki didn’t even smile. He finished eating his grapes, wiped his mouth with a napkin and glimpsed at the ceiling with a bored look.
I was wondering what could have been bothering him so much. It must have been something personal, otherwise Odin and Thor must have been troubled too. Did someone hurt him? Did any of his plans fail or was he working on a difficult plan? Why were only Frigga and me who cared?
When the dinner ended, everyone walked to their own chambers or outside. I heard that Thor invited his friends for a ride but when I turned around and saw them leave, I noticed that Loki had disappeared.
I went to my room. I wanted to read before going to sleep however I knew so well that I was going to sit with a book in my laps while daydreaming about Loki. I did it every night before falling asleep. Sometimes át daytime as well, especially when he was away. It was really pathetic and he would have died of laughing at me if he had known about it.
Before entering my room, I heard someone called my name. I turned around and saw a little black-haired boy staring at me half-hiding behind a long curtain. He was wearing some dark green clothes and he was smiling shyly.
- Who are you? May I help you?
At that moment one of the older maids appeared with a cry of joy, finding her son, wrapping him tight into her arms.
For a moment I had the idea that the little boy was Loki in disguise. It was one of his favourite pastimes to appear in the form of someone else, making fun of others, cajoling secrets and secret confessions out of others.
I remembered an evening when he disguised himself of Thor, making such nasty fun of one of Thor’s friends that everyone except Thor and Houdan (the friend) rolled from laughter. Even Odin couldn’t stand hiding his smile. Loki was punished anyway, Houdan caught him three nights later and beat him up as a warning. Loki, having a large purple spot under his left eye and a little swollen upper lip, acted as if nothing had happened and that event didn’t make him stop. He simply became more careful.
But this time it was not him.
Why can’t I take you out of my head? Okay, you are beautiful and clever and you have the courage and the power to attract anyone, but why do I keep on thinking of you, wanting you? When you ignore me, when you have never said a word to me, not even a simple greeting?
Suddenly I heard his voice clearly: “I wish you were here.” As if he were standing close to me, half-whispering into my ear. It was his voice but where was he?! I turned around in panic however I couldn’t see him anywhere. I ran into my room and closed the door.
I needed some fresh air so I opened the window. And then I could see where he was. Sitting on the edge of the balcony, just a few metres from me. That balcony belonged to the library and it was open all the time. Loki was sitting on the stone edge, his long legs hanging above the depth of the mountain. His hands were resting in his laps, his piercing blue eyes searching for something behind the skies. His lips were a little open but I couldn’t hear his voice anymore that night.